Archive for February, 2014

sometimes

Posted in Uncategorized on February 15, 2014 by darryl zero

you can see what you want, it’s visible, and if it gets close enough you can even touch it, but then it steps just out-of-reach, and nothing you do will punch you through the wall between it and you.

Advertisements

screams descend

Posted in Uncategorized on February 12, 2014 by darryl zero

on the other side of midnight again, I probably shouldn’t be awake since I have the usual things to do tomorrow but i don’t care, because there’s this scream during “Animatronic Bionic” in which every member of Helms Alee is working, the two women harmonize and Ben screams in that gorgeous overdriven melodic throaty roar and it’s perfect and you have to know this.

Love and Marriage

Posted in Uncategorized on February 8, 2014 by darryl zero

Maybe Hermione wanted to love and partner up. Maybe she didn’t end up with Ron–maybe she ended up with Dean Thomas, who was just as brave, kind, and talented as Ron and Harry. Maybe she ended up with Luna or Parvati.

Seriously–the “well, why did Hermione have to partner up?” shit just pisses me off. It’s not like Hermione was asexual or didn’t exhibit any desire for love or affection–she managed to find time to be a human while still being a strong, independent female.

If anyone demonstrated she could be strong and independent and beautiful AND didn’t need no goddamn man, it was LUNA FUCKING LOVEGOOD.

Vin Diesel

Posted in race with tags on February 7, 2014 by darryl zero

There’s this moment in “Multi-Facial” when Vin Diesel’s character sits down and gives this monologue that is not even subtly the actor(/writer/director) himself speaking to the camera.

The line that always gets me is when Diesel talks about admiring his Black dad when he was kid. It starts with this kind of wistful, almost sheepish “For years, I thought he wanted me to act just like him. To be a Black actor like Danny Glover, Sidney Poitier, or Morgan Freeman…just like my dad.”

Then his face falls, and his eyes immediately glaze into this blank, numb, practiced calm, and he says, with practiced indifference, “but I was never Black enough,” and he punctuates it with the barest hint of a smile that takes the place of a shrug.

The tears always hit me at that point, because it totally brings me back to my early adolescence and getting picked on by the other Black kids because they saw my mom or listened to how I spoke or the fact that I was a fucking nerd that read comics and listened to weird music and watched weird movies and played fucking role-playing games and wrote stories, and it hurt a hell of a lot more than the usual Other-ness that comes with being around white kids, because these were the people that I felt a deeper kinship with, the people who understood being that Other, but they didn’t like or trust me, and although I never gave a fuck about “fitting in” and never felt conflicted about my identity as a person-of-color, sometimes when you’re a kid you just want someone else not to care that you’re different, especially when your experiences are exactly the same on one huge obvious level, even if it’s a superficial one, and let’s face it–when you carry the burden of having to exceed people’s expectations in order to be perceived as “normal,” it hurts like hell to have those people you’re fighting to have perceived as “normal” reject you just because your mom doesn’t look like you, it makes you fucking angry, and you have to put that anger somewhere because you can’t lash out at white people because you immediately fall into stereotype, and you can’t lash out at Black people because those are your people, so you put on a smile and crack a joke around the white folks and you pretend to be indifferent around the Black folks.

I don’t give a fuck if you claim Black or try to front “mixed” or “none of the above;” all multi-ethnic Blackfolk, or Blackfolk that were raised by or raised around whites have felt that weird combination of sadness, anger, frustration, longing, and confusion at one point in their lives.

It watch it and it makes me even happier that Diesel has reached the level of fame he has.

(It starts at 2:42.)

you’d be surprised

Posted in Uncategorized on February 6, 2014 by darryl zero

at how many times I’ve been cockblocked by opiates.