Archive for September, 2013

8:14 (93)

Posted in eight fourteen on September 22, 2013 by darryl zero

I pulled over on the shoulder about five miles south of my hometown just after midnight, taking advantage of the relative absence of cars on the highway to hop out of my car, shut of all the lights, and enjoy the stillness and silence. Although there were two farmhouses less than a half-mile away, the lights were out; with the absence of streetlights, I was able to enjoy the moon and the stars without any intrusive artificial influence.

I love the fact that my hometown is so perfectly situated that one can drive less than fifteen minutes and go from urban to rural.  I love that my hometown is so perpetually full-of-vitality at this time of year, the students back, full of the stupid intoxicating freedom that caught me at that age, their impending petty regrets reminding me of the days in which that was the only thing to fear, that brief span of time in which life had meaning or at least direction, the last time in which I was truly happy before now.

Which I am happy, I know now, I realize it even as I feel sad and frustrated, but I’m happy that I am myself enough again to feel these things in the first place.  It’s not the woman (although I’m certainly thankful for her), nor is it the job (fffffffffffffffff), nor is it anything else–it’s the reason why I stopped on the side of the road, the fact that everything I’ve done has led up to this, led me back to where I’m at (emotionally and physically), and the traceable journey through everything that’s happened has brought me to where I’m at and, even though I’m scared, even though sometimes I feel I fuck it up, even though I haven’t really succeeded at anything I’ve sought to do yet, I am seeking again, my eyes are up and focused and searching and scanning and finding and, for fuck’s sake, the sky was beautiful tonight by the side of the road, stretching into forever in all directions.  Beautiful.

Time’s up.

sometimes

Posted in Uncategorized on September 15, 2013 by darryl zero

you want Happy Joes taco pizza so badly you’re willing to ignore all the chemical-laden shit in it just to grub the fuck down on something that reminds you of when you were a kid in some small college town nobody gave a shit about but you and the simple fact that you knew you were eating some bomb-ass taco pizza and were gonna get up and go play “Shinobi” any second now was enough to make everything taste like it was the best thing you’ve ever tasted.

a stolen moment.

Posted in Uncategorized on September 12, 2013 by darryl zero

One of the people I know at work has an infant daughter who was born roughly three months premature. I spoke to him today, listened to the frantic hope and, at the same time, boundless optimism, and I remembered how strong love is, and why it’s important, and that it can give you so much strength and power.

If you are out there and reading this, know that I have love for you. Even if we don’t know each other, even if we’ve never met, we’re all fellow travelers, and that’s pretty awesome.