Archive for November, 2012

it is 7pm and you are listening to your iPod.

Posted in Uncategorized on November 4, 2012 by darryl zero

I’m sitting in a parking lot right now, trying out talking into my phone and seeing if my distaste for the software keyboard on my phone is in anyway exceeded by my distaste for the punctuation limits placed on me by talk to text. Thus far, the limitations are annoying, it’s only because it also places a limit on the types of sentences I can create. With that said, I’m starting to get used to it, and any technological limitations placed on what I can write are just that: limitations.

I want very much for it to be a day other than Sunday; I really hate that feeling of let down, that understanding that by this time tomorrow I will be in ensnared in some usual work drama that will drive me insane. I prefer not to talk about work when I’m not there, but sometimes it’s inevitable; when I’m talking to someone I don’t know, for instance, I have to explain bits and pieces of what I do. I find it especially amusing that I do have to maintain such a degree of confidentiality when making any reference to my job; well I understand there is a need for people who do what I do, it’s never really struck me as anything overwhelmingly important. Or, at least, nowhere near as important as what I did when I drove children around for what resembles a living. Lately, I found myself discussing my job far more than I prefer to; between conversations with people that I haven’t met before and conversations with people who are genuinely curious about what I do for a living, I suppose it’s inevitable that I’ll have to say something about it at some point in time. That doesn’t make me especially comfortable with it though.

I have been especially taken in by Soul Coughing’s “Screenwriter’s Blues;” the idea that the glitz and glamour of adult life, or creative life, or really any kind of life outside the codifications of a life of obligation is, in fact, another form of codification is neither novel nor profound. It is resonant, though, which is why hacks like me reach for it when they reach for something that speaks to that desperate need to feel like our failures are, in fact, that which leaves us better off than those who succeed where we have, and will always fail.

I need to stop feeling not good enough.