Archive for June, 2012

8:14 (75)

Posted in eight fourteen with tags on June 28, 2012 by darryl zero

The middle-aged Indian woman was cute in that ageless kind of way not entirely dissimilar from my mom, albeit I suspect she was at least ten years older, austere cotton pants and sleeveless blouse over skin about the same shade as mine, dark brown hair pulled back into a ponytail, revealing a high-ish forehead, beneath which her dark eyes, scrutinizing in that shrewd way only mothers can, looked me up and down.  I knew something was coming from the twitch in her cheeks, her expression shifting in the way all non-white people’s expressions change when they’re about to ask something they, having similar experiences day-in and day-out, know I’ve probably heard many, many times before.

“You look Indian,” she said, gesturing to my hair.  “Your hair, is like in India.”

I was caught off-guard.  “You mean,” I said, recovering slightly, “like a sadhu?  Is that how it’s pronounced?”

She corrected my pronunciation; I didn’t really pay attention mostly because the nervousness left her face, replaced by a comfortable relief.  “Where are you from?” She asked.

“Here,” I replied.

“You’re from Iowa?”  She asked; on my nod, she added “no, where are you from?”

I chuckled.  “My Dad’s Black–our blood comes from West Africa, but that’s generations ago.  My mom’s white.”

“Oh,” the woman said.  “You look Indian.”

“Thank you,” I replied.  “Where are you from?”

“India,” she answered.

“India’s a very big place with a lot of people,” I said.  “Where are you from?”

She smiled wider.  “Punjab.”

I smiled back.  “That’s cool.  I’ve never been there, but I love the food.”

We chatted idly for another five minutes, and I was reminded of the time in which an Eritrean parking lot attendant refused to believe I wasn’t East African, or the time I ran across an Ethiopian who said I reminded her of her cousin, or the Egyptian Arab that, while being lighter-skinned than I, had enough of the same facial features to make his friends want to take our picture.

Being multi-ethnic is fucking awesome most of the time, but chameleon moments like these are special, because they remind me that all brown-skinned people have a similar journey in the post-colonial world, and that journey, whether voluntary or not, unites us in our uniqueness, links us in the knowledge that, regardless of the fact that our languages may be different and our skin tones may differ, we’re still different from the majority.  There’s something special to be found in moments like that, moments in which you nod to a fellow traveler, because the ones that nod back are usually the ones that are going to be looking for you and others like you when they find the way to where we all need to go.

Time’s up.


8:14 (74)

Posted in eight fourteen on June 26, 2012 by darryl zero

It never fails–either I can’t sleep and have nothing to say, wasting waking hours dawdling on the internet, or all I want to do is sleep when I have everything in the world to say, wasting creative spark doing the one thing I probably should be doing, but feel so guilty for.

I can’t lie and say I don’t really feel like there’s much to my current existence other than that.  Deliberately trying to avoid living vicariously through others, yet determinedly not trying to do any actual living myself has resulted in my being more sealed-off to the world than normal.  My only communication with the life I once had (and I mean actual life, not just Portland) manifests itself through Twitter and Facebook, momentary eruptions of some kind of emotion I force myself to feel just to have any kind of emotion in the first place.

I suppose part of it is being back in the midwest, where people don’t fear procreation as much, that I’m seeing all of these babies around me and wanting to make one.  It’s funny; two women I may have been able to con into marrying me are getting married soon to men other than I, and I feel a sense of loss and sadness, sure, but mostly I just feel stupid.  I’m so attracted these days to people what want the exact opposite of what I want–and they know who they are, to be sure, and they know I’m attracted to them, but am never sure if they really grasp what I saw when I looked at them.  I use the term “plural” for…obvious reasons, actually, but that’s a different story entirely, one whose telling would probably cause some minor apoplexy in the people that actually hitch their emotional well-being to my mercurial star.

There’s a certain level of dishonesty in how I feel now about almost everything.  I’m happier to be back in Iowa than I probably let on, mostly because it’s quiet, but also because I can hop in the car and drive up to the one place on the planet in which I feel as if things make sense, that I can go and simply relax and feel as if the answers come to me without having to ratchet myself to a seat someplace and force everything to become coherence.  I wish I lived in my hometown, or at least that there was something for me there other than memories and vague promises of a present and future that can only be as soon as I go somewhere else to accomplish some things.

Managing to actually play some music with another human being will either make my life more interesting or much, much simpler.  I hope it’s the latter.

Time’s up.

hilarious(ly shitty) truth

Posted in Uncategorized on June 17, 2012 by darryl zero

Okay, so when I make the following statement:
“I sure could go for getting laid one of these days,”

one or more the following situations will occur:

1) I’m going to try in earnest to get laid and fail impressively for about 6 months to a year;

2) I’m going to ill-advisedly sleep with someone I’m not that interested in, but know I can sleep with;

3) I’ll sleep with someone in whom I am VERY interested but, either because she’ll have some lingering hangup or I’ll get nervous and freak out, it’ll end badly;

4) I’ll fail to get laid for a few months, then lose interest in sex entirely again, after which I’ll have women blowing up my phone about how into me they were;

5) I’ll lose interest in sex after a few days and go back to being a hermit;

6) I’ll fail to get laid for a bit, then completely lose interest in everything, at which time someone I like enough will come along, and I’ll be in a relationship that, while perfectly fine, only serves to remind me of how meaninglessly and passionlessly I approach my entire life.

[Cue someone freaking out about this post. I sometimes wonder why I’m ever honest about anything. Fuck all y’all; I’m going to find some dinner.]

for the record…

Posted in Uncategorized on June 1, 2012 by darryl zero

…the previous post (epic guitarist list) isn’t meant to be comprehensive, or even definitive.  I just get sick of seeing the same fucking names on “greatest guitarist” lists over and over again.  Believe me, I probably could name at least fifty more guitarists whose work I love more than Jimi Hendrix’s.


Posted in best of lists, music with tags , on June 1, 2012 by darryl zero

I have ten guitarists I love above all others: 

1) Prince

2) Eddie Hazel

3) Chuck Berry

4) Ian Williams (Battles)

5) Tyondai Braxton

6) Vernon Reid

7) Dr. Know (Bad Brains)

8) Carlos Santana

9) Michael Hampton

10) Ben Verellen (Helms Alee)

and the rest, numbered only to keep place–I love them all in no real order

11) PJ Harvey

12) Kim Thayil (Soundgarden)

13) Marnie Stern

14) John Frusciante (whose music I actually don’t like, but the dude can play)

15) Mahavishnu John McLaughlin

16) Andreas Kisser (Sepultura)

17) Stephen Carpenter (Deftones)

18) Buckethead (possibly the only wank-virtuoso that will appear on this list)

19) Stevie Salas

20) Lindani Buthelezi (BLK JKS)

21) Tim Lash (Hum)

22) Dan O’Hara

23) Marc Ribot

24) Wes Borland (Limp Bizkit)

25) Buddy Miles

26) Vieux Farka Toure

27) John Vanderslice (dude never solos, but writes ridiculous riffs)

28) John Congleton (could possibly be the best guitarist on this list)

29) Che Arthur

30) Kevin Shields

31) Adam Franklin (Swervedriver)

32) Ian Thornley (Big Wreck)

33) Bob Mould

34) Matthew Ashman (Bow Wow Wow)

35) Unknown Hinson

36) Nicholas Sadler (Daughters)

37) Brian Molko (Placebo)

38) Billy Corgan

39) Ernie C (Body Count)

40) Jack White

41) Nils Frykdahl (Sleepytime Gorilla Museum)

42) Amanda Machina

43) Nile Rodgers

44) Lauren K. Newman

45) Terrica Kleinnecht

46) K.K. Null

47) Noel Gallagher (Oasis)

48) Dino Cazares

49) Eddy Grant

50) Sananda Maitreya (Terence Trent D’Arby)

51) Dean Ween

52) Ike Turner

53) Jimi Hazel (24-7-Spyz)

54) Steve Albini

55) Arto Lindsay

56) Max Cavalera

57) Crispin Gray (Daisy Chainsaw/Queen Adreena)

58) Kurt Ballou (Converge)

59) Justin Broadrick

60) Kyle Fischer (Rainer Maria)

61) Tony Iommi (yeah…sometimes everyone gets it right. early Black Sabbath is some of the greatest music ever written)

62) Paco de Lucia

63) Coley Dennis (Maserati)

64) Tom Reno (The Mercury Program)

65) Josh Homme

66) Eric Gales

67) David Pajo

68) Chris Carothers (Ativin)

69) Jon Fine (Bitch Magnet/Don Caballero/Coptic Light)

70) Shuggie Otis

71) Keziah Jones

72) Jimi Haha (Jimmie’s Chicken Shack)

73) Dave Holmes (Dub Trio)

74) Ernie Isley

75) Trevor de Brauw (Pelican)

76) Shaun Lopez (Far)

77) Jason Cropper (Weezer/Chopper One)

78) Wendy Melvoin

79) Micki Free (Shalamar)

80) Mick Thomson (Slipknot)

81) Dean DeLeo (Stone Temple Pilots)

82) Gary Shider (Funkadelic)

83) Aaron Turner (Isis)

84) DH Phillips (True Widow)

85) Frederik Thordendal (Meshuggah)

86) Uffe Cederlund (Entombed)

87) Alex Newport (Fudge Tunnel)

88) Gabriela Quintero (Rodrigo y Gabriela)

89) William DuVall (Comes With The Fall/Alice In Chains)

90) Jerry Cantrell

91) Cameron Greider

92) Adrian Utley

93) Elliot Sharp

94) Phil Elvrum

95) Takaakira Goto (Mono)

96) Amadou Bagayoko (Amadou & Mariam)

97) Daniel Ash (Bauhaus)

98) Manu Chao

99) Freddie Stone

100) Rocky George (Suicidal Tendencies/Fishbone)


101) John Congleton (because he’s so godly he has to appear on this list twice)